I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
