When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
