am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
