did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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