Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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