woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
