I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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