you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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