By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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