you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
