We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
