fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So many bounce houses so little time
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
