we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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