went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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