2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
