i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
