I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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