I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
