what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
