nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
