You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
