How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Randomize
