We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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