Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Well douche your snatch and let's go!

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(425): View more from Washington

Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.

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(847): View more from Illinois

hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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(209): View more from California

he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.

(303): View more from Colorado

Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.

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(281): View more from Texas

Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time

(406): View more from Montana

Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2

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(415): View more from California

He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.

(510): View more from California

How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?

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