:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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