Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
