Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Randomize