if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
