At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
