I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
