You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
