No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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