My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize