you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
