and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
