I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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