i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize