is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
