I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize