How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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