Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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