please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
