my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize