Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
