Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
my liver is dry heaving
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
