There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
