she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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