TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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