so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
