Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
