Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
