4 words: hood of his car
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
