So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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