You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
