I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
