Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
